Author: GirlDoes

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A Visit to the Presently Relevant Past

Having just come back from an eight-day trip through the former Yugoslavia, which involved three countries, two buses, two flights, and over 12-hours as a passenger in various cars, I’m fucking knackered. These trips are a huge part of why I love my job so much, but they are not...

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A Married Woman’s Relationship With Desire

Yesterday I sat dangerously close to a hot-as-fuck man on the train and it was electrifying. As he sat across from me, our knees nearly touching, the smell of his lank hair sharp, and pungent in my nose, like an extinguished match, I stole glances of his reflection in the...

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A Love Letter to my Girly Whatsapp Group

This morning I received the most adorable photo of one of my friends. It was of her and her boyfriend still in their jammies, tucked up in bed with their faces transformed feline by one of the many apps that do that now. The caption was simple and read, “Happy...

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U(bud) OK, Hun?

This morning I jabbed an angry finger at my phone, repeatedly snoozing my alarm, refusing to give into its demands. I know…I had all the best intentions when I tucked myself in last night. I envisioned myself bounding out of bed and into the shower before meandering lazily down the...

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Why I’m Not Eating Tina Fey’s Privilege Cake

I’ve wanted to write this for a week now, but I’m lazy af and have had other shit to do, like read various comments sections under several well-meaning, but seriously blinkered, Facebook articles and scream into my pillow. Another white woman screaming into inanimate objects this past week has been...

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Cultivating Pussy Pearls

Today, a little late to the party, I learned about a new sex trend, which involves sticking dissolvable capsules filled with glitter, and flavoured lubricant, into your vaginal cavity. The idea is that they will dissolve with the aid of your own yummy, natural vag juices and leave your lady cave...

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Notes on a Suicide

On the 18th of May, 2017 Chris Cornell hanged himself in his hotel room and on the 21st of July, his good friend, and fellow stellar vocalist, Chester Bennington did the same on what would have been Chris’s 53rd birthday. Fuck. The thing about suicide is that it often defies...

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Daddy Issues

If you woke up at 8am on a Sunday, what would be your first thought? Mine was, “fuck this” followed immediately by, “I gotta pee,” so that’s what I did. When I tottered unsteadily back into the bedroom, blearey-eyed and bemused, Steve was looking at his phone and mumbled, “your...

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Hooray! It’s Women’s Day!

via GIPHY Oh goody! It’s time to observe and celebrate the day the world has put aside for us womenfolk in an attempt to demonstrate that we have value even though we are not men. Strike up the band! This year’s International Women’s Day is more important than ever. Women...

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Powerful Plays

If you haven’t watched the most recent episode of Girls then you should. This show, through all its series, and for all its flaws, has created moments of utter brilliance and this week’s episode is one of those moments. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that American Bitch is...